While I was waiting to get selected for jury duty at the Baltimore Court House this past Friday, I took the time to catch up on some Netflix Movies. One of the movies that I watched was “When We First Met.”
The storyline is about a guy named Noah who is secretly in love with a girl who has put him in the dreaded friend zone. However, there is a magical photo booth that is really a time machine that allows him to travel back into the past and change all of his actions from the first night they met. Each time he goes back into the past he invariably ends up changing the future.
In his pursuit to get this girl to love him and escape the notorious friend zone, the consequences of him traveling back to the first night they met results in Noah coming back to a life that he didn’t want and the lives of the people he cares about totally changing for the worse.
It was a super corny movie, but one line stuck out to me the most.
“Relationships are about intangible moments. The real moments and who you share them with.”
The main character, Noah, realizes at the end of the movie that love is not just about the first night two people meet, but the memories made after.
This week was my first Valentine’s Day with my girlfriend. As the day was approaching and I was busy planning, I knew in my heart that I wanted to make it a special day for her. And I got plenty of “What are you doing for Valentines Day?” texts so I knew I better do something.
First thing I did was…
I sent her favorite flowers and a teddy bear to her workplace.
Typical, I know, but I thought it would be a good first move. WHICH IT WAS.
One of my friends gave me this great idea of having a date itinerary book which would storyline the activities of the date.
Ever since our trip to Orlando in January, my girlfriend was fixated on going rock climbing so I made an appointment for us to do just that.
We had a blast! She liked it so much, she almost didn’t want to go on the rest of the date. After a quick wardrobe change, we then got sushi for the first time together.
Everyone close to me, including my sister and best friend, who I told about these date plans were happily surprised. My girlfriend was even more impressed. Not because I spent a lot of money or took her to the Eiffel Tower (although I’m sure she’d enjoy that) but because I made an effort to create a memorable night.
So many times previously, I probably would have taken the safe route. If I had played it safe I would have chosen a steak restaurant instead of sushi because I know for a fact that she loves steak. If I wanted to play it safe I probably wouldn’t have chosen rock climbing because well… it’s not safe lol. Playing it safe in my relationship involved me taking the easy way out instead of trying new things.
For a few months there I was playing it safe in my relationship and in return, it was hindering us from getting to know each other more intimately and forming memorable moments.
There have been plenty of memorable moments made! I just know that for me personally, I have to fight against the tendency to become complacent.
So this year as we’re about to cross the 1-year mark in our relationship, I’m making it a priority to not just passively go through the motions and hope that memories form. Instead, I want to do my best to intentionally form memorable moments with her.
What will that require of me?
Getting out of my comfort zone.
Creatively planning activities that aren’t only fun and adventurous but also allows us to bond and grow together. It will require me to learn more and love her with all of her quirks and interests.
Unlike Noah, in the movie, I can’t go travel back into the past and change things. But I can decide today to be more intentional about forming memorable moments.
What about you?
What memories are you not creating because you’ve decided to play it safe? It doesn’t have to fit into the context of a dating relationship, but maybe you’ve been playing it safe in your friendships, your career, or even your goals.
What memories can you form this week by simply getting out of your comfort zone?
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